Looking at yourself, it can be difficult to have the mindfulness to consider what types of situations your parsing is especially effective for. I think often about how mismatched strengths are causes of strife – I am an excellent organizer; however, pair me with another organizer and we are bound to be sluggishly incompetent as we strive to organize and re-organize each other instead of pushing forward in a task.
While you might think about these pairings most often in terms of your job or work output, I think these considerations are vital in interpersonal success as well. Especially now, when the dynamics of socialness and hanging out are often preset with certain limitations according to platform or location, it seems vital to have an understanding of what you may be looking for and excel with, and how to work with others in achieving success socially.
Behavioral and emotional strengths are rampant, and I’m not advocating for you to switch things up and only interact with people who complement your strengths and weaknesses; instead, I’ll be discussing how you might recognize a discord sewn through parallel strengths or shared weaknesses, and how to come to terms with these minor conflicts.
Associative Behaviors for Mental Solidifying
The first goal with understanding behavioral and emotional strengths is, instead of worrying about interacting with others and layering complications on top of each other, to begin by considering how your strengths apply and effect yourself. As I mentioned above, I excel at organizing; however, coming to recognize this was a struggle and learning how to use this skill as such equally so. So how can you analyze what traits you excel at and which you are weak with?
Letting the associative mechanisms of the mind work allow for you to draw conclusions based on similar efforts that derive pleasure, and similar efforts which provide challenge. Take a moment and write down what simple, routine activities give you pleasure and which ones you find yourself avoiding and putting off each week. I hate taking out my compost bin, and love to do dishes. Using each of your activities as ends of a spectrum, start filling in-between. If taking out the compost bin is -5 happiness for me, and doing dishes is +7 happiness for me, then sweeping the floors are about a +3 happiness for me.
Soon enough you have a functioning topology, or the way in which constituent parts are interrelated or arranged, for your routine satisfactions. From there, try to start drawing links: what I like most about clean dishes is that a clutter-free kitchen is mentally easier for me to cook in, and I love guaranteeing that my next meal doesn’t have any tarnish or scrap leftover on its dishes; what I like about sweeping floors is also getting rid of clutter. Finding patterns then can illuminate potential reactions: I don’t like clutter and therefore consider myself an orderly person, a proper fit for someone who finds themselves actively gaining pleasure from organizing positions.
While my theme above was in domestic responsibilities, you can apply that activity to anything you might encounter.
Mindfulness and Consideration Help Achieve Personal Satisfaction
Some of the most frustrating situations are when someone you admire, respect, and look forward to seeing conflict whenever around each other. This can occur for a number of reasons, of course. One of which being that perhaps you simply maintain very similar strengths – after all, the easiest to identify and acknowledge in others are what we already are comfortable and familiar with in ourselves.
There is fun to be had in similarities: competition, in-depth conversation and analysis, or just shared passions; however, something that always helps drive joy in interacting with individuals with similar skill paradigms is finding others who have differing skill paradigms to serve as mediators and mediums. This may not be an available case, though, and at which point it may serve to identify different methods of engaging.
While you might not be great at certain things, there are also neutral middle grounds where you may not excel but not particularly fail at. These, when paired together and collaborated on, may become sources of creative joy on top of and in conjunction with your excelled roles and traits. Conflict does not always have to be a source of pain, either. There is joy to acknowledge in someone caring enough about a subject with you that they are willing to dive into its depths and ask tough questions of it. I like this quote from Raul Zurita, to orient: “Look at it become transparent faraway and just accompanied by the wind.”
Intent-Driven Consideration Learning for Adults
Above, around, whatever directionally-driven proposition you find works the best, all of these considerable considerations, you will find intentional learning exercises. Which is where I find the nature and discourse of my Espials working the best. Espials serve as guides for thinking thoroughly about what triggers resonant emotions and traits, and how to complicate them in a task of understanding.
I find the Awe Espial to be a great place to start as it is often the easiest to consider things that seem too grand to be tangibly effective.
If you’d like more guidance, feel free to reach out and contact me.