Growth in a flower pot

Strength as Feelings and the Circus of Consideration

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The major arcana of tarot can be powerful associative and spiritual indicators for mindstates. The strength card, one that I hope for and find great inspiration in any reading, is ripe with exploratory definitions and situations that, when contextualized properly, yield unrepentant conviction. Looking into strength as feelings can yield quite a bit for many devotees; however, I am not a mass reader of fortunes and instead try to relay those messages strictly for myself and my close friends whom trust me.

Instead, when I speak of strength as feelings, I am most interested in trying to promote the message of finding strength in connectivity with your feelings. While yes, a naive and mundane message on its surface, the resonances are riddled with nuance and complications that effect all walks of life.

vase of drooping flowers

Strengths as Feelings as Strengths

To try and maintain a life that’s considerate of others is among the most worthy of goals. But consideration is not so simple. There are various hierarchies and intersections to consideration that complicate the maneuver – caring for one may inherently mean invalidating care for another.

Developing consideration and caring, and at the base constructions of human behavior, are feelings: what does our soul react with on any given scenario or situation? Being afraid because you see a wasp inside your home is just as valid as being afraid because walking alone on a dark street. What the point of my Espials and my mission is is to learn how to interpret and validate these feelings and reactions without necessarily giving them due cause or power to invalidate the experiences of others.

This is never an immediate process, and in fact takes tremendous dedication, and deliberate attention to overcome.

In my personal neuro-atypical challenges, I often found myself observing behaviors and my reactions to them, but would reminisce in guilt due to my physical reaction not portraying my emotional or mental process. This is to say: I could see a hurtful situation and could imagine ways of intervention or reactions that would resolve the situation in a more amicable way, yet failed to act.

I’d vocalize this interrupted desire for responsiveness to anyone who would listen for years, writing it down furiously over and over again in my journals.

Enaction and Duty

The earliest and most stabilizing duty you can provide yourself is consistency. When you face a difficulty that you would like to challenge, proposition its inverse in the form of a mantra and repeat it to yourself.

For ages, my panic attacks and anxiety-spiral moments would be compounded by repeating negative mantras within my head. “Nobody cares about you,” “You are worthless,” “You will never do any good for the world.” It’s depressing for me to read them so raw and exposed. But in understanding that repeating negative phrases could compound the negative emotions experienced during panic-stricken moments, surely the inverse had to be true!

Delight has been realizing that I can channel that same power to pull myself up, or to make myself more conscious of dedicated efforts.

In trying to curb my judgments, “There’s nothing wrong with that,” or, “I may not like it but they are still entitled to enact it.” In trying to channel my anger for an outrageous situation, “This is worth getting mad over.” In trying to slip through a thicket of insecurity, “I am capable of this.”

And in finding the process that provides you the secure consistency to find strength in your feelings, you have found reward, too. Allow yourself to bask in the accomplishment that is conscious development!

Mindfulness as a Daily Practice

I think, as a grand, sweeping gesture, this poem by Richard O. Moore from his collection, “Writing the Silences,” translated by Brenda Hillman is wonderfully summarizing of my intent here.

Columbia 1960, a poem by Richard O. Moore from "Writing the Silences"

If you would like to start recognizing your feelings more voraciously and determining how to distance good or negative implications to natural feelings, consider making a routine practice of attentiveness and consideration.

Therein you might find interesting avenues of self exploration and growth, creating additional possible futures, and delighting in the machinations of it all.

Keep finding delights all, stay dancing.